8 September 2023

DFor several months, supporters of the Trust yourself (JC Lattes, 2005) oppose the followers of Go to your room! (Dunod, 2020), two slogans emanating from two women, Isabelle Filliozat and Caroline Goldman, who both occupy strong positions on social networks. Should we be benevolent towards children and young adolescents to the point of tolerating all their pranks (Filliozat) or should we, on the contrary, instill in them a sense of authority (Goldman) by setting limits to their whims? The “permissive” against the “authoritarian”, so-called parenthood “positive” against the time out (“punitive relegation”): two simplistic notions, as everyone knows in fact that a good education requires both benevolence which spares children from barbaric punishments and an authority without which, as Diderot said, they would break their necks. their father to sleep with their mother.

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Abandoned, humiliated, punished, beaten, abused childhood is the subject of a long martyrology to which the greatest humanists of the Enlightenment tried to put an end: Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Victor Hugo, Sigmund Freud, Henri Wallon, Charlie Chaplin, Maria Montessori , Françoise Dolto… So why this battle between two women who both use new means of communication (podcasts, Instagram, blogs…)? Let’s try to see it clearly.

Born in 1957, author of around forty books, Isabelle Filliozat comes from a family of psychotherapists. Holder of a master’s degree in clinical psychology, which did not allow her to set up as a psychologist, she turned to unapproved therapies to exercise the profession of lecturer. She also stages on YouTube her suffering, her emotions and the hatred of her mother, who forced her into a psychoanalytic cure in her childhood. But she also says that her grandfather beat her father with a whip, having himself been the victim of violent parents. It is therefore to avenge this genealogy of humiliation that she has decided, she says, to embark on a crusade in favor of a regeneration of childhood: neither conflict nor constraint.

quintessence of progressivism

You have to hear her recount the postures of a 6-year-old girl who does not know what clothes to choose each morning to go to school: she puts on a dress under which she puts on pants, immediately removed in favor of a sweater which will in turn be relegated to the closet. Necessary work, she stresses, at the right “neurobehavioral development » of the child, who will thus learn to enjoy his wardrobe without having to undergo the slightest prohibition. Twenty-four hours a day, the parent ” positive “ must be at the service of his dear children.

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